Wise Scales

Nowadays everything is smart: smartphones, smart watches, smart TVs, even smart glass on the windows. But my parents gave me a “смарт-скейлз” or “umniye vesy”. It looked like a common plate. I’ve placed it in the corner of my kitchen. Well, I got up on it, it beeped and clinked, flashed with light bulbs and said in a human voice: your weight is so-and-so, the fat mass is so-and-so, the muscle mass is so-and-so, the ratio is so-and-so, and it recommends me to go in for sports.


Well, thanks for the kind word. I ran a couple of times in the morning, went to the pool. Then I got up again on the square. The platform again tweeted a bit, voiced me the figures and said, that I need to engage in sports more often, and spend weekends in the open air. I thought, it would be nice. But somehow everything did not work out during the week: I was overloaded at my job, and I had to go to the dentist, solve issues with the Internet provider, look into the bank, and my pension fund again sent me some strange papers – I never understand what it wants…


To sum up, I didn’t have time for sports, so I didn’t even get up on the platform. Suddenly it blinked, and declared:

— Your smart scales speaking. Do you remember to go in for sports?


And I was just jerked, angry, and yelled:

— Yeah, and when should I work out, if I’m working like a Trojan at the office?


The scales again showed off it’s intelligence (not for nothing they are called «smart»):

— Then I recommend that you find a job that will leave enough time for the sport.


I was stunned a bit and answered:

— Suppose, such job exists, but it has such a salary that is not enough for life.

— Then find a job in which you will earn a lot, but you will have to work less.

— This is marvelous! — I said. — People cannot find work for several months, and once they find it, they are holding onto it with their teeth so as not to lose it again.

— This is not true, — the scales said. — In our era of digital technology everyone can easily find an application for their talents, the main thing is to believe in yourself and look at things from the positive side.


I Thought: “Wow! It must have the motivation program incorporated”. But the truth turned out to be even more amazing…

Once I came home earlier than usual and heard the TV on the wall working. I slammed the door — the TV immediately fell silent. It turned out that my smart scales conspired with my TV and, while I was not there, they watched the shows together.

— You have a craving for paternalism, a legacy of the Soviet regime. It was then that people were not allowed to develop and everything was decided for them, and now there is complete freedom: earn as much as you want, just don’t expect someone to help you and bring it on a plate.

I do not like TV and do not watch it, just can’t throw it away (it’s also a gift). Therefore, I shouted at the scales:

— I do not need anyone to retell me the the evening shows! Heard of stupid things on TV and now you want to feed me with this shit?


The scales beeped in an offended manner and responded in a broken voice:

— I take care of your good. I want you to be always healthy.


And it fell silent. Even the lights went out. Then I felt guilty, so I relented:

— Well, why are you adhere with your sport? Maybe in my free time I prefer to read a book. And maybe even write one.

The scales turned on for a second and grunted:

— Good health is above wealth.

Then I began to wind up again:

— Why the hell am I needing good health? What should I do with it?

— You need health to live longer.


Then I suddenly became curious: what if I test this “scales wisdom”.

— Why should I live longer? — I asked. — Why do I live?


Scales answered without any effort:

— To give birth and raise children.

— To bring up? Does this mean me constantly telling them to go in for sports?

— Well yes.

— So they live longer?

— Of course! — It seemed to me that the scales even had a cheerful voice and felt happy with my final enlightenment.

— And should I ever read books? And create something?

— If it brought money, then of course. And without that… I, for example, did not read books, still how smart I am!


And I said to myself: “Well, it is all clear with you. You won’t tell me anything I don’t know. And what can you know about life, if you’re spending it in a corner near the screen?” I wanted to turn the scales off, but there was no button on them. And I thought selling or gabaging a gift not a right thing to do. So far I decided to move to my good friend and live with him for a while. But sometimes I still drop in at my home, talk wth the scales about my successes, listen to their advice about how to dress more warmly and eat right.

Dmitry Kosyakov. 04/24/2019

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